mom….gay….
i’m dad
i’m so son of you, proud
(via punkdirections)
there is a town called sandwich in massachusetts
there are literally police cars labelled sandwich police
SORRY MA’AM, YOU’RE UNDER ARREST. TOO MUCH MAYO.
(Source: timoodlesarchive, via saamtemple)
a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
(via malon-lady)
I wish my name was Zoe so I could introduce myself like this
(via ruinedchildhood)
